• Bae: babe come over
  • Me: I just put my bagel bites in the oven
  • Bae: my parents aren't home
  • Me: I literally just put them in the oven

alt-j:

calcium more like coolcium haha drink ur milk kids

(via live-fast-die-younggggg)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

be careful what you post online because future employers might see it and want to hang out with you because you’re so cool

(via live-fast-die-younggggg)

lvrnemalvo:

monobeartheater:

arcticmowsy:

aerostarmonk:

The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house.

oh my god

i just do not understand this post what even

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Omfg why, like why the fuck why

(via alecksg)

obtuse-juice:

yungmickjagger:

tumblr user: CAN *gif* WE *gif* JUST *gif* TALK *gif* ABOUT *gif* THIS *gif* FOR *gif* A *gif* MOMENT *gif* *gif *gif*

me: Chill

image

I *gif* CAN’T *gif* UNDERSTAND *gif* YOUR *gif* ACCENT *gif*

(Source: doutzenkros, via triplexsuperstar)

kakuzu:

how many followers do you need before someone orders you a pizza for free

(Source: phiones, via triplexsuperstar)